OOC Information
Name: Jon
Email: ariensilverleaf@gmail.com
AIM/MSN: xhands of bluex / ariensilverleaf@hotmail.com
Time Zone: EST

IC Information
Name: Peter Pettigrew
Former House: Gryffindor
Age: 40
Birthday: December 1st, 1960
PB Choice: Mackenzie Crook

Wand: Chestnut, 9¼ inches, dragon heartstring core, brittle
Bloodline: Pureblood
Family Members: None living
Owl/Pets/Familiars: None
Place of Birth/Current Residence: Surrey / Spinner’s End

Patronus: Peter’s Patronus was once a large rat, much like his Animagus form, however Peter has not been able to cast Patronus in ages since he cannot muster a happy enough memory to give it power.
Boggart: James and Sirius staring at him with disapproval
Mirror of Erised: The four Marauders young and together again

Political View:
Peter long ago lost the bravery that had prompted the Sorting Hat to place him in Gryffindor, and he is now a complete and utter coward. He gravitates naturally to those of great power and strength, hoping to secure himself protection, and so he was inevitably drawn to the Death Eaters. He never really agreed or even thought much about their Pureblood agenda. He does come from a Pureblood family, but his family had fallen on hard times long ago and had never been much into politics. Peter doesn’t really have anything against the Muggles or Muggleborn, but he has convinced himself that he does in order to fit in with the rest of the Death Eaters. He spouts their rhetoric without really knowing what it means, and he does whatever he can to further the Death Eaters’ causes so he never has to face the wrath of his master. Fear motivates his political choices, and he never even stops to consider another option.

Allegiance:
Death Eater

Sexuality:
Peter is homosexual, but he has never admitted it to anyone for fear of being made fun of and reviled. He had a completely unrequited crush on both James and Sirius up until James’s death. Attraction and fear go hand in hand for Peter these days, and he often finds himself appalled with his uncontrollable attraction to those who terrify him the most. Luckily no one ever pays enough attention to him to notice.

Appearance:
Peter has the look of a man who was once overweight and has lost far too much weight in the most unhealthy of ways. His skin sags in places where there was once meat underneath to support it, and this gives him a very gaunt appearance. He looks perpetually tired and prematurely aged, his hair thinned and grey and dark circles forever under his eyes. Years of living as a rat, fed and pampered by the Weasley family, kept him relatively healthy until the return of Sirius forced him into hiding. Since then his physical health has steadily worsened along with his nerves. The only bright spots on Peter are his eyes, which are always unhealthily lit, and the silver hand given to him by the Dark Lord. He wears drab shabby clothes by choice, hoping to avoid as much notice as possible from his abusive Death Eater brethren.

Personality:
They say that a person’s Animagus form is a reflection of some facet of their personality, and this is certainly true for Peter Pettigrew. Rats certainly have bravery of a sort, and Peter does as well. The Sorting Hat is never wrong, and Peter did belong in Gryffindor. He was always afraid of things but willing to push himself to face those fears as a child. It was difficult for him but he always did manage to prevail over his own terrors, and consequently was bold enough to make friends with James, Sirius and Remus in his first year.

Peter’s bravery, however, was slowly washed away over his years in school. Being a Marauder was everything he thought he could have ever wanted – he was popular, if only by association, and he was protected, which seemed in the short run to be perfect. Though he was brave enough as a child to overcome his fear of others hurting him it seemed far better to have people around him that would protect him. James and Sirius did just that, though the more that Peter began to rely on their protection the more they began to pick on him almost as much as they did on Snape. He became more than used to receiving denigration at the same time as protection, and the two began to mean almost the same thing for him.

These days Peter is known as a coward, and again he is much like a rat. He has lived in fear for so long, so he naturally searches out the safest places to hide and withdraw. He’ll fight ferociously if backed into a corner however, and even the most condescending of Death Eaters acknowledges Peter’s ability to unleash horrors if he is pressed, much as he was when he faked his own death while fighting Sirius after the death of James and Lily, much as he was when urged by the spirit of Voldemort to create the ritual to restore the Dark Lord’s body.

Peter is often called slow, which is true, but he is by no means an idiot. His biggest block is always his own self doubt, which has always been strengthened by the open doubts of everyone around him. In school he never received good grades, and yet he was able to manifest an Animagus form before the end of his fifth year and help to create the Marauder’s Map. When he is not being told he cannot do something he almost invariably succeeds, but the problem is that he often is the one telling himself he cannot do it now. He allows himself to be walked all over because he believes he isn’t strong enough to stop it, so he protests weakly but never makes a move to improve his situation.

Inevitably fear rules Peter. His betrayals are always motivated by fear, and he does not know any other way to live. He is not naturally a hateful person, though he harbours resentments towards everyone who ever mistreated him in any way. In the dark of the night he tells himself that one day he’ll be revenged upon them, but the vows always feel hollow and half-hearted, as though he only tells himself this because he doesn’t know what else to say. More than anything he misses the companionship he had in the Marauders, even when Sirius and James would pick on him and tell him he was a stupid rat, because he felt safe and mostly liked with them, which are all he really wants anymore.

History:
Peter was born to a small family that had fallen on hard times. Though they were Purebloods their financial situation was even worse than the Weasleys’, and they had long since sold off all the artifacts that were of any value to keep their crumbling home from falling apart. The Pettigrews were known, however, as generally good-hearted folk, though quiet and meek. Their stock were mostly Hufflepuffs with a few Gryffindors, loyal and strong, but their blood had become rather worn out over the years due to the Pureblood inbreeding.

Peter grew up in an area that was steadily being eaten up by Muggle advancements, his family’s old lands sold off to build suburbs. He had very few friends while little, despite the many Muggle neighbours who lived nearby. His parents, while by no means the anti-Muggle enthusiasts that many Pureblood families were, were wary of letting Peter play with Muggle children for fear that they’d see what he was. So Peter developed the reputation of the withdrawn lonely kid who lived in the big run-down old house, and the Muggle kids picked on him a lot when they had the chance. Peter, to his credit, learned how to handle them without revealing what he was, and despite being terrified that they’d catch and hurt him was able to stand up to the bullying.

When he finally got his letter for Hogwarts he was ecstatic, happy to finally meet some other Wizard children who he could form real friendships with. His enthusiasm got him noticed by James Potter on the train to Hogwarts, who quickly introduced him to his best friend Sirius Black, who Peter immediately developed a heavy crush on. The boys saw Peter as kind of dorky but funny, and were more than happy to let him tag along with them as the year began. They also made friends with their other dormmate Remus Lupin, who Peter thought was very smart but also a little mysterious. He rather liked the mystery, liked everything about his new friends, and he threw himself fully into the friendship. He wanted them to like him more than anything, so he would do whatever they suggested at any time.

As school continued Peter began to think less and less for himself, his grades slipping as a result. His parents were disappointed but never made much of it, happy that Peter himself was so happy. His energy was always thrown into his friendship and the things he did with his friends. When they learned that Remus was a werewolf they worked long and hard to become Animagi, and Peter was surprisingly the first one to succeed at the transformation. It never mattered that Sirius and James were clearly unaware of his crushes on them. It never mattered that they seemed to respect Remus far more than him. It never mattered that if they didn’t have Snape or Regulus or someone around to tease that they’d pick on him. They were his friends, and that was what mattered.

After school ended, however, life became a lot less simple. The war was raging around them all, and suddenly the safety of Hogwarts was taken away from him. His friends joined Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix, so Peter of course came along with them, thinking that it would continue to keep him safe. He was devastated to realize that being in the Order meant he was in far more danger than if he’d kept out. He tried to think of a way to leave but still remain close to his friends, but he was terrified as much of leaving them as he was of the danger of being in the Order. The fear and worry quickly began to wear on Peter, and as all the others had their own problems to deal with, he had no one to help. Real life seemed to trump friendship, and then all of a sudden Lily was pregnant and everyone was all about the baby that was to come. Peter wanted to be happy for them but all he could think of was the next mission he’d have to go on, and how he didn’t want to keep fighting the Death Eaters who seemed to just be getting stronger and stronger every day.

It was no surprise that something snapped inside of him.

In one terrible battle for the Order, Voldemort himself showed up and slaughtered most of the mission team. Peter had been with them, but as soon as the Dark Lord arrived he scrambled for a place to hide, terrified of the dark power that radiated from the evil wizard. Voldemort came to him to kill him and Peter threw himself at his feet, begging for mercy, which Voldemort, upon realizing who he was, decided to grant. He allowed Peter to live, allowed him to go back and hide until help arrived from the Order, but on the understanding that he belonged to the Dark Lord now.

Soon after, Voldemort came to him again and scoured his mind with his Legilimency, learning all the secrets of the Order that Peter possessed. Peter was awed by the sheer power that Voldemort possessed, more power than he’d ever been near, he thought. Voldemort promised power and protection to all his faithful servants, was a master who told everyone what to do, when to do it, and how. He was everything that Peter thought he wanted, and despite knowing how it would betray his friends he felt that he could do nothing but give himself to the Dark Lord. It was easier, it was the only thing that seemed to make sense. No one else was willing to protect him, but Voldemort promised that he’d keep Peter safe, and Peter was sure he could do it. So he became a Death Eater.

When Dumbledore delivered the Potters into the safety of the Fidelius charm, Peter was sure they’d ask Sirius to be their secret keeper, which relieved him. He didn’t want to betray anyone if he could help it. But James changed his mind at the last minute, saying no one would ever expect the keeper to be Peter. He felt torn, angry that James would never have thought of him in the first place, scared to possess the horrible secret, but terrified to deny it for fear of revealing his new allegiance. Finally he decided he had no choice but to accept the secret, and of course Voldemort took it from him with glee. Peter knew there was something about the baby, about Harry, that Voldemort wanted, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He loathed himself for the ultimate betrayal, knowing that his friends could not hope to survive against Voldemort, but still he was too afraid to go back.

The Dark Lord’s plan backfired somehow and he was destroyed by this baby that Peter had never given much thought to, and all of a sudden the whole world was crumbling around him. He had no one now, no powerful protector, no friends to fall back on. Sirius had, of course, realized what he’d done and was coming after him, and soon everyone would know his terrible shame and hate him forever. In desperation he lashed out at Sirius as soon as his friend arrived, resulting in a terrible battle that Peter had never imagined he’d have the strength for. He killed dozens of nearby Muggles, destroyed chunks of land and property in his frenetic attempt to keep Sirius from telling the truth, and in a sudden inspiration he realized what he could do. He could hide. He didn’t have to kill his old friend, he didn’t have to face the consequences of his actions, he could just hide. In the explosion of one final spell of destruction he cut off his finger, leaving it as proof of his death, and then changed into a rat and fled the scene.

For a long time he let the mind of the rat take hold of him, and the years passed in a blurry haze. Somehow he’d come into the possession of one of Arthur Weasley’s children, treated like a treasured pet, and life seemed good. He didn’t need to ever leave his rat form – this was happiness of a sort, and he could forget for awhile everything that had happened. He remembered reading from a paper once that Sirius had taken the fall for him somehow, been sentenced to Azkaban for murdering the Muggles and for betrayed James and Lily. It was easier to keep slipping into the life and habits of a rat than face his guilt.

Alas, it was not to last forever. Sirius broke out of Azkaban and had some sort of horrible cat ally at Hogwarts that knew what he was. He’d been the pet of Harry’s friend Ron, and it had been strangely nice to see that James’ son had survived his betrayal, was still happy and had friends. It had made the guilt somehow easier. But now everything was falling apart again, and finally he was caught by not only Sirius but Lupin too, and Harry had learned the horrible truth. Everyone hated him, he had no one now. He couldn’t even be the Weasleys’ pet anymore. When the opportunity came once again to flee, he seized it and took off into the night.

That was when Voldemort found him again.

The spirit of the Dark Lord possessed him and was delighted to have found a Death Eater servant again. The broken disembodied thing had been flitting about the Forbidden Forest, barely enough energy to retain any semblance of consciousness, but when it lodged itself into Peter it began to grow in power again. The Dark Lord taught Peter how to create the ritual to bring him back, first as the twisted fetal form and then finally, with the help of Harry’s blood and the loss of Peter’s hand, in his full glory. Peter was just pleased to finally have someone telling him what to do again, to be able to give up responsibility.

He was certain that he’d be granted a place of glory for being the one to bring about Voldemort’s restoration, but it was not to be. Though he was granted the beautiful silver hand that he coveted, the Dark Lord cast him aside in favour of other, more talented servants. He was reviled amongst the other Death Eaters as a coward, though he was never sure why. Hadn’t he been the brave one who had helped the Dark Lord? Hadn’t he remained loyal all these years, waiting for the chance to bring Him back? The more Peter thought about it the more he changed history in his mind to assure himself of having always been loyal, but he wondered too if they were all right, that he was a coward.

Now, as the war continues to rage and the Death Eaters seem to be assured of total victory, Peter is unsure of where his life is going. He is, for the most part, safe. He is rarely sent on any missions for the Dark Lord, as the others consider him useless, and the Dark Lord seems thankfully distracted by other issues to pay much attention to him. He spends most of his time skulking about Snape’s old house in Spinner’s End, which seems to have been left to him by default now that Snape is dead. He plots vague revenges against those who have hurt him, but he really just wishes that everything could be like it was in school, that he could be happy again. He can’t remember really being truly happy, and he isn’t even sure now if a time like that actually existed.